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Sonya Britt, an assistant professor of family studies and human services and program director of personal financial planning at Kansas State University, also found that couples who fight about money are more likely to divorce, even if they make lots of money.

"Arguments about money [are] by far the top predictor of divorce. It's not children, sex, in-laws or anything else. It's money — for both men and women,” said Britt. "It's not children, sex, in-laws or anything else. It's money — for both men and women."

Money is such a thorny issue because couples often hold opposing views on what money is for, haven’t aligned their values on finances and have fundamental differences in how they view goal-setting, spending and saving and other money matters.

Read more: Do you own rental properties in the US? These 6 hacks can help you boost your income and lower your tax burden

What to do with a partner who is extremely financially irresponsible

If you find yourself in a situation where your spouse is causing you major financial harm, it’s important to protect your own wellbeing — both financially and emotionally. While not every partner is likely to be as unreasonable and controlling as Mary’s husband, if you find yourself with unequal power in your relationship with regards to finances, you may want to consider separating to protect yourself from the dire consequences of your partner's mismanagement. In some cases, this is a form of coercive control that is abusive. The National Network to End Domestic Violence has resources for individuals who find themselves in this situation. And it’s more common than you may think. Their research shows that financial abuse occurs in 99% of domestic abuse cases.

If your case is simply one of mismanagement, you may be able to work it out, provided your partner is open to reason, and to several frank discussions about money and what you need to do to dig yourselves out of the hole that they created. This conversation may include the help of a martial counselor or a financial professional, who are trained to mediate these discussions and help you focus on a plan that is both realistic for your finances and meets the goals you co-create together.

When it’s time to go

As Coleman and Kamel noted in their call with Mary, most wives would have ended their marriage long before getting to this point. While the “enough is enough” point varies from person to person, it’s important to remember that signs of abuse should never be tolerated. Marriage.com offers a quiz that can help you get perspective if you’re unsure whether your spouse’s behavior counts as abuse.

If you do decide to separate or divorce, make sure you’re protected financially. If your spouse is engaged in criminal activity that can affect your marital estate and finances, you can be held financially responsible for their illegal activity. To help mitigate, file your taxes under the married filing separate status or consider applying to the IRS for injured-spouse relief, if you can prove that you were unaware of your spouse’s tax fraud. In any case, it’s critical to consult with a lawyer who has expertise in these matters and can advise you on the best course to pursue.