Caller reveals husband spent 'fun money' on a woman in prison for 3 years. Ramsey Show hosts urge financial separation

If you find that you and your partner argue about spending, and it pushes you to simply hide your purchases or financial decisions, you’re committing financial infidelity — and it could break up your relationship. It's a sign that it’s time to take steps as a couple to build communication around finances, so that you can learn to find compromise — instead of lying and hiding things.

Financial infidelity is a serious breach of trust and it can do a lot of damage to a relationship — and a couple’s finances.

Caroline told Cruze and Kamel that she had been at a point where she was ready to get divorced, but the fact that her husband agreed to seek help together through their church had kept her from ending the relationship.

Cruze writes that being honest about mistakes you have made, learning to develop better communication and working on a shared budget as a couple are all ways to help rebuild after financial infidelity (2). She also recommends seeking out counseling.

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“There’s a lot of repair that has to happen, regardless if the marriage survives," Cruze told Caroline. "To be two healthy people is what you guys need.”

Protect yourself

The situation that Caroline described, of a long infidelity with financial implications, is a serious case of financial infidelity.

Both cohosts agree that Caroline should take significant measures now to protect herself financially. Cruze recommended that she separate her finances from her husband’s, in order to protect herself.

Kamel said Caroline should also pull credit reports to make sure there is no other financial infidelity going on.

“We want to pull the credit report to make sure there’s no outstanding debts that maybe you don’t know about and to get a clear picture of what’s out there,” Kamel said, “and then freeze his credit so he can’t open any new accounts.”

The cohosts also recommend, in order to help build trust back and to keep her finances safe, Caroline should ask for notifications to be set up on her husband’s accounts.

“I would have transaction alerts set up so you get a text message every time a cent comes out of that bank account [...] even if it’s just his account right now,” Kamel said.

The second priority, after protecting herself financially, is rebuilding trust. In order to do this, the cohosts said Caroline’s husband needs to come clean about everything that happened with his infidelity.

“If you guys are going to move forward, everything needs to come into the light,” Kamel said.

“Yeah. It’s a full-disclosure situation, that you guys need to sit down with a counselor to even move forward. There’s no way you can move forward with half the truth with your marriage,” Cruze added.

Cruze also said that both Caroline and her husband should seek out individual counseling as well, to work on their own issues.

While separating your finances might feel scary or extreme to some people, if you are dealing with a serious case of financial infidelity, it’s wise to take serious steps to protect yourself.